tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29804556610642573.post2527860773178353155..comments2010-03-11T17:18:46.462-08:00Comments on anna's blog: laughter or money? which is more important?Annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13713908555782935415noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29804556610642573.post-1766367734623637862009-10-20T04:04:14.414-07:002009-10-20T04:04:14.414-07:00the author values christmas with her family and he...the author values christmas with her family and her ipod. what the author seems to be saying about what is valuable is that somethings can be prices and still be priceless to you or you can chose the waist that money. and also some priceless moments come to you too.<br /><br />out of the author's two values i think she describled the one about christmas with her family more vividly and clearly than the one about her ipod. ' It was the day before Christmas and the excitement in the air was high.'<br /><br />the overall strenghs of this essay, i think, would deffinately be word choice. 'Snow gracefully swirled down from heaven and softly embraced the ground. The sun gleamed on the freshly fallen snow as the wind whipped a crystal covered branch against my window pane.'<br /><br />the only suggestions i have would the author might want to fix the spacing on her blog. also the whole essay wasn't in present tense. other than that i think the author did a great job.<br /><br />amazing job anna!!!beccahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03612044363649733202noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29804556610642573.post-77456740210649381192009-10-18T16:57:53.347-07:002009-10-18T16:57:53.347-07:00She's saying that people value priced and pric...She's saying that people value priced and priceless items. She's saying that expensive things can be valueable, but so are moments with family. She values her Ipod and her Christmases with her family.<br /><br />I think that both of these things were described amazingly. I think that the description of Christmas was great. There are so many great parts I could quote. "Snow gracefully swirled down from heaven and softly embraced the ground. The sun gleamed on the freshly fallen snow as the wind whipped a crystal covered branch against my window pane." I really liked that part because you can imagine it perfectly. The wording is great and vivid.<br /><br />The overall strength of this essay was the word choice and the connections she made. I loved how she described the snow and Christmas. "When you listen to music, it’s like you fall under its spell and you become totally unaware of everything surrounding you. Before you know it, your turn will be up and you will be wishing that you were still somewhere in the middle of the line." That part is really relatable and it makes a great point.<br /><br />On my computer the essay was smooshed together a little, which was frustrating because I loved the essay! It was worth the extra time it took to focus. All I can find wrong is that it's not completely in present tense. There are a few past tense sentences. Otherwise this essay was AMAZING. Seriously Anna, i LOVE it :DKaitlinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13229677076048996827noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29804556610642573.post-6698617380140104232009-10-18T14:46:47.053-07:002009-10-18T14:46:47.053-07:00I)She is comparing the value of money to the value...I)She is comparing the value of money to the value of precious moments.In her essay she makes it seem like people value money more than they value their priceless moments. She makes it clear in her introduction that she values memories more than she values money. She does however still value money, as she describes when she talks about her ipod.<br /><br />II) I thought that she favors her Christmas memories more. I think this because she includes more detail about her experiences at Christmas. I think that she wrote about her ipod better though. The quantity may not be balanced to the amount she wrote for Christmas but the quality and the honesty in her words are better. <br /><br />III) THis essay has many strenghts. It is well organized and it is easy to read. The words seem naturall to her. The words are honest. The writing style is easy to comprehend.<br /><br />IV) I'm not sure if it is just my computer but the words are smushed and overlapping. I found only a few spelling errors.I found no grammar errors. Overall you wrote a fantastic essay.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29804556610642573.post-30839644733449811272009-10-17T12:07:31.645-07:002009-10-17T12:07:31.645-07:001. The author seems to be saying that the things ...1. The author seems to be saying that the things we value don't always have to be the expensive things. She's saying that time with loved ones is just as important, if not more, that something expensive.<br /><br />2. I thought that the description of your Christmas time was very well written. "We would all rip off the wrappings with lightning speed to reveal the gift that is concealed inside."<br /><br />3. I think that writing style was very apparent. You can really tell the author values and loves these things.<br /><br />4. I think a bit more detail would help. Also, I found some spelling mistakes. Some of the essay is not in present tense.Mollyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09470040773517133701noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29804556610642573.post-39893019942356044502009-10-15T17:54:42.760-07:002009-10-15T17:54:42.760-07:00Anna values her ipod and Christmas with her family...Anna values her ipod and Christmas with her family. she is saying if its the items that make us happy or time we spend with people we love. I thought Christmas was very well described. I could see how much you valued time with your family. <br />"We would all rip off the wrappings with lightning speed to reveal the gift that is concealed inside. "<br />A strength of this essay would be the conclusion and the comparison. I also thought your introduction was very good.<br />I think you should add some more detail to your ipod paragraph and maybe add some transitions between your paragraphs. <br />I really enjoyed reading your essay.Hayleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14517016159893510901noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29804556610642573.post-19861894820696521882009-10-15T08:55:24.599-07:002009-10-15T08:55:24.599-07:00Anna, three words: "This.Is. Amazing." I...Anna, three words: "This.Is. Amazing." It's hard to not find an essay like this. There are some grammatical errors, might want to read it over. I really think I can relate to the second paragraph. How you describe winter, and the "crystal" covered branch whips against your window pane, from the wind. This is sensational work. great job!Stephhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18096921828863233449noreply@blogger.com