Sunday, January 24, 2010

The Mystery of the Missing Diamond




The Mystery of the Missing Diamond

It was a sunny afternoon in the Land of the Paragon. Princess Mollie was sitting in her curtain drawn room, reading a letter from Caitlyn, a fellow peasant who also happens to be her best friend. She is coming for a visit and they concurred that she is to stay for a month. Princess Mollie just couldn’t wait to see her.

They next morning, bright and early, she jumped out of bed with great enthusiasm.

“Ding dong.” Mollie raced to the door. She stopped to throw her silky blonde hair back and took a deep breath. Then, she threw the door open and there stood Caitlyn, in her tattered apron, practically jumping up and down with excitement. Mollie wrapped her arms around Caitlyn in a warm embrace.

“Here, I’ll show you my room,” said Mollie in a sanguine voice. They walked up what seemed like a thousand flight of stairs to Caitlyn since she wasn’t used to it. When they finally reached the royal bedroom, her mind was all garbled and had to lie down.

“Your bed is so comfy,” she said, examining the silk cover.

“Thanks, I just got it last week for my birthday. I wanted it in pink but they got me purple instead,” Mollie replied with a pout. The conversation continued until they heard a soft knock on the door.

“Come in,” answered Mollie casually. In enters a servant, pushing a polished silver cart with milk and a plate of chocolate chip cookies, giving off a redolent aroma.

“Can't we get just some more of the cookies?” Caitlyn asked meekly.

“Um, I don’t know, mom doesn’t allow us to have a too many cookies because they are not salutary. She told Sam here not to give us any more than a plate of cookies every day. Maybe we could get you something else?”

“But I want cookies!” whined the obstinate peasant, “Try to cajole him into bringing us some more.”

“Oh alright, and just so you know, you’re a glutton,” she teased.

That night during dinner, King Myke discovered that his precious diamond had been stolen.

“Alright, who took my diamond?” he bellowed across the table. “It was you was, was it not? ” he roared, pointing directly at Caitlyn. He always had his suspicions about her and now they were confirmed, or so it seemed.

“What?” Caitlyn stood up, accidentally knocking over a bowl of clam chowder, “I did not! I didn’t even go near that thing!” she rebutted, with a strand of spaghetti still hanging from her mouth.

“Yeah, I know Caitlyn, and i know she would never do that. And besides, who wants that stupid diamond anyways? It’s practically useless,” defended Mollie. "And uh, Caitlyn, I think you have something…there,” she added, pointing to her mouth. Caitlyn turned bright pink as she removed it with a napkin.

“Now now honey, it’s going to be okay, we’ll find the one who stole it,” said Queen Becci, trying to mollify her husband. “And young lady, don’t provoke your father about his diamond! You know how much your father cares about it.”

Caitlyn’s eyes began to tear up, and without a warning, ran up the stairs to Mollie’s room. She flung herself on top of her bed and started to cry. She was hurt and doleful that her best friend’s dad didn’t trust her and accused her of stealing.

“Oh come on,” assuaged Mollie, “I’m sure he didn’t mean it, he just overreacted. I mean, you are the only one, besides the family, who knows about that ugly and equally vapid rock.”

Suddenly, there was a shout. The girls rushed out and saw Mandy, a maid, standing with an opened velvet container. In it lies a diamond that sparkles like a star on a crystal clear night.. King Myke’s eyes widened as his face began to turn pale.

“Where did you find it?” his voice was hoarse.

“Y-your room your majesty,” Mandy stuttered, “I was cleaning it, just like you said. I just wanted to help you with the mystery.”

“So you stole the diamond and tried to vilify this poor innocent girl here?” Queen

Becci was outraged. “You nefarious malefactor!”

“But it wasn’t me! Someone must’ve put it there to frame me!” the king argued.

“Let me first remind you that you’re the only one with the key to that box. I bet you forgot to lock it because you were so lost in the thought of ruining her life.”

“Daddy! How could you do that?” Mollie was full of hatred for her father and loathed him with all her heart.

The king was laconic because he knew that he had just lost the battle.

After receiving a diatribe from the queen, he was sentence to five years of community service. Now it might not seem much of a punishment for framing someone for stealing, but after all, he is the king.

And as for Mandy, she was extolled by Queen Becci and Princess Mollie for her help. As a reward, she received an all expense paid vacation to the Kingdom of the Ethereal, where everything is heavenly and fine.

9 comments:

  1. 1.The main characters are Mollie,Caitlyn and Myke.
    2.Myke can't find his diamond and blames Mollie's friend Caitlyn.
    3.The climax is when Myke's maid finds the diamond and tells Myke.
    4.The resolution was affective.
    5.The story seemed plausible.
    6.The stories greatest strength is the plot and description of things.
    7.My only comment would be just to maybe add some more description to your story because it was good.

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  2. 1. The king could not find his diamond it was an external conflict and it was resolved by the diamond being found and the king was responsible. I didn't like the resolution too much it may have been a little rushed.
    2.I don't think i recall a change in the characters attitude. they seemed the same throughout. The king realizes he s not very sneaky and the others figure him out.
    3. My favorite part was the introduction it really draws the reader in with good intelligent vocabulary."They next morning, bright and early, she jumped out of bed with great enthusiasm.
    “Ding dong.” Mollie raced to the door. she stopped to throw her silky blonde hair back and took a deep breath. Then, she threw it open and there stood Caitlyn, in her tattered apron, practically jumping up and down with excitement."
    4.The story definatly had very good dialouge and introduction. Each dialouge contained safisticated words that made the reader enjoy it more.
    5.The theme would be something like make the right decisions in life or there will be consequences. anna shows that the king made a BAD decision now has community service.
    6.The author seemed to inncorporate everything that was needed and i have no suggestions.

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  3. I think that the conflict of the story was between Caitlyn and KIng Myke. He thinks she stole his diamond when she really didn't. It was an external conflict, and was resolved when Mandy found the diamond. The antagonist, King Myke, changes over time because he first accused Caitlyn if something she didn't do, then he came to realize he pointed fingers without looking at the facts. If he didn't change, then he probably would have punished Caitlyn for no reason.

    My favorite part of the story was when Caitlyn wants more cookies, and Mollie is only allowed a plate a day. "'Um, I don't know, mom doesn't alllow us to have too much cookies because they are not salutary.'" I like it because it sounds silly and says a lot about Mollie's mother. I think the resolution is the story's best quality. Lots of people learned lessons, and not to judge each other.

    I think that the theme of this story is not to judge others, or come to conclusions without reviewing facts. I believe the author needs to describe the setting a little better, and make the story more lengthy and detailed.

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  4. 1. The conflict of the story was that King Myke's diamond was missing and he blamed Caitlyn. The conflict was external and it was resolved when Mandy found the diamond and it turned out that Myke had hidden it to frame Caitlyn. It was a good resolution and was suprising.
    2. The king first seems to be a normal king who is nice but he turns out to be sneaky and evil. You can tell her changes when he falsely accuses Caitlyn of stealing the diamond. If he hadn't done that then they story wouldn't have gone anywhere.
    3. My favorite part of the story was when Caitlyn and Mollie were in Mollie's room and they were having cookies. “But I want cookies!” whined the obstinate peasant, “Try to cajole him into bringing us some more.” It was funny and developed the character a lot.
    4. The best quality of this story is the humor. It's a fun story to read while most other stories are depressing. I love how Caitlyn (I'm having so much trouble not typing Kaitlin) develops throughout the story and makes it funnier.
    5. The theme of this story is that you shouldn't falsely accuse people or be sneaky. Myke had tried to frame Caitlyn and ended up with community service.
    6. This story was fun and had all of the elements needed. The author might want to add a little more to the resolution because it seems rushed, otherwise it was great! :D

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  5. 1.The conflict in the story is when King Myke can't find his diamond. This was an external conflict.It is resolved when Mandy finds the diamond.
    2.Myke changes over time because he realizes thst it wasn't Caitlyn, even though he blamed her.This change is important to the story because the conflict is resolved and Myke has to do community service.If the character didn't change then there wouldn't be a resolution.
    3.My favorite part of the story is when Caitlyn goes to see Mollie. "Ding Dong" Mollie raced to the door.She stopped to throw her silky blonde hair back and took a deep breath." This stood out to me because it is very descriptive and you can picture Mollie waiting to see Caitlyn.
    4.I would say the tales best quality is the conflict because it is funny and enjoyable.
    5.The story's theme is don't blame someone for something that you don't know they did.
    6. I would just say to add more detail to your conclusion.

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  6. 1) The conflict of the story was who stole the diamond, and why is the king blaming Caitlyn for stealing the diamond. It was external, and it was resolved by the maid finding the diamond and the King getting punished.

    2) I guess the King changes over time, from accusing, to being the accused. He learns he should not frame people for something he did. So basicly he gets punished for the thing that he did. Its basically the morale of the story.

    3) My favorite part of the story was when the King gets community service. A quote would be, “After receiving a diatribe from the queen, he was sentence to five years of community service.”. This is my favorite because it shows how no one is above the law. Also how you shouldn’t blame someone for something you did.

    4) I think the best quality was the conflict. It was interesting, because it was a little bit dramatic, but would have been more dramatic if this was a kingdom known thing, and everyone was getting accused of taking it. I think that the setting was also really well described well too.

    5) The story’s theme was to not frame people for something you did. I think that this is a really good morale for preschool kids. It is made interesting by the use of kings and royal people.

    6) The author needs to develop Mollie and Caitlyn a little bit more. I think that she could add something more about Mollie and her dad before someone stole the diamond. The vocab words were used really well out of dialogue, but in the dialogue, it sounded kind of strange. It’s not a big deal, but you might want to use more context clues for the dialogue part.

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  7. I. The conflict is that someone the king lost his diamond. It was resolved by the maid, Mandy, finding it. It could have had a big resolution to make it more dramatic.
    II. Mollie changes from this sweet kind caring girl to someone who will stand up against her father. It’s important so Caitlyn can have someone on her side. The resolution or what would have happened to Caitlyn would have been different.
    III. I like the part where Caitlyn comes and they eat cookies. It occurred in the rising action. “In enters a servant, pushing a polished silver cart with milk and a plate of chocolate chip cookies, giving off a redolent aroma.”
    IV. This tales best quality is word choice and good characters.
    V. I think the theme is not to lie or frame anyone. It proves a point that sooner or later you’re going to get caught if you lie by the end of the story.
    VI. Capitalization. Maybe a stronger ending. Or falling action.

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  8. 1. The conflict of the story is that the King's diamond was missing and he blamed his daughters friend, Caitlyn, for it. It was external and resolved when a maid, Mandy, found the diamond in King Myke's room.
    2. King Myke changed over the course of the story. In the beginning he was the accuser but in the end he turned out to be the bad guy. If this change didn't happen the story wouldn't have really gone anywhere.
    3. My favorite part of the story was when Caitlyn and Mollie were in Mollie's room and Caitlyn wanted cookies. "“But I want cookies!” whined the obstinate peasant, “Try to cajole him into bringing us some more.”
    “Oh alright, and just so you know, you’re a glutton,” she teased.." I liked this because it showed more of Caitlyn's character and it's funny.
    4. I think the story's best quality is its humor and creativity. It's very funny (although annoying :P) and different than most stories I've read.
    5. The theme of this story is to not accuse people of something you don't know or isn't true. That honesty is a big thing and it's best in the end.
    6. I agree with previous comments in that the resolution was rushed. But the story was really good and fun :)

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  9. vocab
    1 paragon
    2 concurred
    3 garbles
    4 redolent
    5 salutary
    6 obstinate
    7 cajole
    8 glutton
    9 doleful
    10 rebutted
    11 mollify
    12 vapid
    13 vilify
    14 nefarious
    15 malefactor
    16 loathe
    17 laconic
    18 diatribe
    19 extolled
    20 ethereal

    ReplyDelete